Why “That’s Just How They Are” Is a Leadership Failure in Law Firms

Almost every law firm has one.

The brilliant attorney who misses deadlines.
The rainmaker who ignores process.
The staff member who’s “great with clients” but unreliable internally.
The partner who creates friction but “means well.”

And when those patterns are raised, the response is often:

“That’s just how they are.”

That phrase sounds harmless.

It’s not.

It’s one of the most expensive sentences in law firm leadership.

What That Phrase Really Means

When leaders say “that’s just how they are,” what they’re usually signaling is:

  • We don’t want to address this.

  • It feels uncomfortable to confront.

  • The person is valuable in other ways.

  • We’ve normalized the behavior.

  • We’ve decided to tolerate the inconsistency.

It feels like grace.

But in practice, it’s avoidance.

Tolerance Quietly Redefines the Standard

Every time behavior is excused:

  • expectations shift

  • accountability softens

  • performance becomes uneven

  • fairness erodes

Standards don’t collapse all at once.

They erode slowly — one tolerated exception at a time.

And once inconsistency becomes normal, culture starts bending around personalities instead of principles.

High Performers Notice First

The people most affected by tolerated inconsistency are not the underperformers.

They’re the high performers.

Because when standards aren’t applied evenly:

  • strong contributors carry extra weight

  • reliability becomes invisible

  • frustration builds quietly

  • morale declines

When systems don’t reinforce standards, trust erodes — especially among your strongest people.

“They’re Just Different” Isn’t a Strategy

Leaders often justify behavior because:

  • the person generates revenue

  • they’ve been there a long time

  • they’re technically strong

  • confronting them feels risky

But inconsistency at the top is especially costly.

When leaders tolerate certain behavior from certain people, they communicate:

Standards are negotiable.

That message spreads quickly.

This Is Why Accountability Feels So Hard

Accountability feels uncomfortable because:

  • it requires direct conversations

  • it challenges identity

  • it risks tension

  • it forces clarity

So firms delay it.

But delayed accountability compounds.

What feels easier in the short term becomes much harder later.

The Myth That Confrontation Damages Culture

Many leaders believe confronting behavior will:

  • damage morale

  • create resentment

  • push people away

  • reduce collaboration

In reality, the opposite is usually true.

Clear standards:

  • create fairness

  • reduce ambiguity

  • protect high performers

  • make feedback predictable

Culture doesn’t weaken when standards are reinforced.

It strengthens.

Revenue Does Not Immunize Behavior

This is especially true in law firms where:

  • rainmakers receive more flexibility

  • high-billing attorneys are protected

  • long-tenured staff are excused

Revenue does not offset:

  • missed deadlines

  • broken process

  • poor delegation

  • inconsistent communication

If anything, high performers should model the standard — not sit above it.

Leadership Is the Enforcement Mechanism

Standards don’t enforce themselves.

They require:

  • clear expectations

  • visible metrics

  • consistent feedback

  • follow-through

If leadership won’t address inconsistency, no system will compensate for that avoidance.

And over time, tolerance becomes culture.

The Question Leaders Should Ask

Instead of saying:

“That’s just how they are.”

Ask:

  • Is this behavior aligned with our standards?

  • Would we tolerate this from someone else?

  • What message does this send to the team?

  • Are we protecting short-term comfort over long-term health?

  • What would change if we addressed this directly?

Those answers determine whether leadership is strengthening the firm — or quietly weakening it.

Standards Protect People — They Don’t Punish Them

Clear standards:

  • make performance measurable

  • remove subjectivity

  • create fairness

  • reduce favoritism

  • protect the culture you claim to value

Without them, everything becomes personality-driven.

And personality-driven firms are fragile.

If certain behaviors in your firm are being excused as “just how they are,” it may be time to reassess the standard.

I help law firms define, reinforce, and consistently apply performance expectations — so culture strengthens instead of bending around exceptions.

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Why “Everyone Is Doing Their Best” Isn’t a Performance Strategy